What Is Social Death?

Youtuber/Streamer Dusklow coins the term social death. It is described as a situation when one no longer has access to their original social groups and the support and stability that comes with it. It is important to note that the term social death carries multiple meanings across different disciplines. The sociological definition focuses on when society no longer sees a group of people as human, such as in cases of slavery. In the medical field, social death describes a situation where people are treated as if they were dead when they are not yet biologically dead. What Dusklow does uniquely here is apply this social loss within the MMORPG context. Imagine logging into your MMO and standing in the familiar bustling town square with people you no longer recognize. Such an experience could evoke emotions of loneliness, emptiness, or sadness. Or perhaps it evokes a sense of excitement for a new start? More likely than not, the phrase social death evokes a negative connotation. We want to address the former feelings one may get from social death. Now why does social death happen?

Causes of Social Death

Social death can occur for a variety of reasons:

• The raid static disbands: A raid static is a group that routinely practices together to tackle big boss battles (i.e., raids) and may or may not be part of your guild. Sometimes they disband because of a conflict, other priorities come up, or they complete the raid.
• Your guild or friends stop playing the game: Sometimes other priorities come up or the game stops being interesting and your friends quit.
• You get exiled from your social group: For whatever reason, your social group conspired to kick you out.
• You choose to leave your social group: For whatever reason, you made the personal decision to leave your social group.

Why Does Social Death Hurt?

Whether positive or negative, the listed causes of social death all lead to the loss of something. Maybe it is a loss of tradition, a routine, or friends to rely on. What was once assumed to be an everyday routine of logging in to be with your friends is suddenly (or gradually) gone.

Young gamers are not the only ones experiencing a trajectory toward social death. As we reach our mid-20s, studies show our social circles tend to shrink. This is especially noticeable as we enter our 50s and 60s. It disrupts our sense of stability and causes grief. Yes, grief is not limited to losing someone due to a biological death. The pain felt from losing people to things other than death is called ambiguous grief. Similar to traditional grief, feelings of sadness, yearning, anger, denial, and guilt can all surface. Perhaps you feel upset that your friends did not have the patience to stick it through. Or maybe you feel that you could have done more to keep your friend group together. It is normal to go through these feelings but it is also important to learn how to manage them if they negatively affect your day-to-day life. The team at “What’s Your Grief?” provides far greater advice than we can on this topic, and we refer you to them if you want to deeply explore these topics and learn about how to address these feelings.

Food for Thought I: The Social Death of Veteran Players in FFXIV

Many Final Fantasy XIV (FFXIV) content creators have been concerned about the content lull in between expansion releases. Director of FFXIV Naoki Yoshida, or Yoshi-P, has encouraged players to play other games during such times and come back when there are things they want to do. Veteran FFXIV streamer Zepla cautions that this mentality can be too extreme. One big concern was the disappearance of veteran players and their communities. Yes, the data shows many players do return when new content is out. Yes, many new players are enjoying the game and catching up on content in between expansion releases where new content release is slowed down. But is it truly normal and healthy for an MMORPG to have social groups break and have to be rebuilt again? Within each social group do enough players come back that you can pick up where you left off?

One can claim that indirectly, the developers are enabling social death for players, especially for those who do not want to stop playing during slow patch cycles. Are the developers aware of this social phenomenon and are okay with its existence, or is it a byproduct of benign intentions? Designing the game to reduce grind time so the players can do other things sounds like a noble cause, but it ultimately reduces the need or desire to log into the game when these grind tasks are complete. It is a valid concern of veteran players that content is lacking because there is no backlog of activities for them to do, especially if they do not roleplay and create their own content.

The following question may be better served in a separate post, but it may be worth introducing here. Is it okay for multi-year end-game players to be replaced with new end-game players? On a macro level, it may not cause big change. But on a personal character-to-character level, someone is losing a friend when a long-time veteran quits. Given that this disrupts one’s existing social circle, it is a contributor to social death.

Food for Thought II: Does the FFXIV Housing Mechanic Amplify Loneliness?

Does the housing mechanic amplify the loneliness felt by social death? FFXIV requires frequent housing interaction or else the homeowner may lose their housing plot, which is a rare commodity in the game. This makes it impossible to fully unsubscribe from FFXIV if you want to return to your virtual house when the next expansion releases. For those who see the FC house (guild house) as a critical component of having a guild, a remaining guild leader is stuck with an empty house and cannot disconnect from the game like other members who can freely unsubscribe from the game. This is also the same situation for regular homeowners who do not want to lose their plots. Every month or so the guildmaster must return to the empty halls of their guild headquarters to keep the deed running. Does returning to a large empty house remind the player of a bygone era? Perhaps this gaming mechanic unintentionally generates additional feelings of loneliness or a sense of being trapped.

How to Avoid Social Death

What can we do to avoid social death in our online games? Or at least dampen the blow? Here are some strategies for mitigating social death:

Diversify Your Guild Connections

Invest in diversifying your guild connections. Do not rely on just one guild. This is harder to do in online games that only allow for one guild at a time like FFXIV or Black Desert Online. Some guilds may not give you the time of day if you are not a member, but that won’t be the case for all guilds. Branch out and participate in cross-guild events. Build relationships with players outside of your immediate social circle. This helps create a broader social safety net if your main group leaves. In FFXIV, there are local server linkshells and cross-world linkshells which are essentially large chat groups. You can join multiple groups, unlike free companies.

There are cross-world linkshells for multiple purposes and this is a great way to have purpose in talking with new people. It may be intimidating to communicate with a stranger without a shared task at hand. Cross-world linkshells exist for purposes such as open-world hunt trains where people come together to fight world bosses in large parties. Another feature not as well known in FFXIV is the fellowship feature. Fellowships are another social feature for like-minded people to come together without having to leave your guild. Fellowships have a very rudimentary communication system limited to a message board and other communication formats are needed. Finding a raiding group outside of your guild can also be another way to have additional social circles.

Find Joy in Solo Activities

Although this is no real replacement for camaraderie, there are likely many activities in the game that you have not yet tried that can be done solo. For example, it could be the main scenario quest, reading and watching videos on the lore of the game, redesigning your character’s looks, or decorating your house or apartment. You can also create your own challenges taking on content that is easier as a team but can be conquered alone. In FFXIV, there are activities such as beast tribe quests which can be quickly done alone while your friends are offline. You might be surprised by the amount of fun to be had solo.

Graduate Your Guild Friendships Beyond the Game

This is easier to do if your guild has a means of communication outside of the game. Luckily most guilds have a group chat or server on platforms such as Discord. This makes it easy to do other activities together such as movie nights or play other games together. Even chatting outside the game about everyday life topics can lead to real-world bonds that extend beyond the game’s lifespan. If your friendships are only contingent upon the game, then it is less likely that you will be able to maintain them if that one mutual connection is no longer there.

Openly Communicate with Your Guild

Have frank conversations with your guildmates. Discuss your plans and intentions for the game to better understand what can be done to avoid your concerns about social death. See if there are ways to merge the guild with more active ones should membership decrease or have plans to move onto other gaming platforms together.

Look for a New Guild

Maybe it is time to make new friends. Research guilds with similar interests, values, and playstyles. Highlight your experience and positive qualities to get noticed. Also, look for tips on how to quickly bond with people in a new guild.

Take a Break

Maybe Yoshi-P had it right all along. Rather than tie your social life to one game, let social death be a signal for you to also take a break. Try new things outside of the game, catch up on other real-life responsibilities, or try new projects or hobbies. When the time is right, you may feel rejuvenated and see the game with a fresh set of eyes ready to make new friends in the game.

Try New MMORPGs

If the game feels irrevocably tied to your lost social circle, consider exploring a new one. A fresh start can be liberating, allowing you to build a new social identity and rediscover the joy of online communities.

Remember, online friendships are valuable, but they shouldn’t be your sole source of happiness. Cultivate diverse interests, maintain real-life connections, and embrace the solo aspects of the game. This way, even if your friends move on, you’ll have the tools and resilience to build a new social life within the virtual world or beyond.

Nine Lives as a Miqo’te (Catgirl)?

How many times have you experienced a social death? Does it wear you down each time a social death happens? Do you do anything differently after each social death? Is each social death due to the same cause? We would love to hear your feedback on this. Join the conversation on our Discord or come back to this post where we will have a survey up and running that you can fill out. We will collect the data and share it back with you all.